that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
