is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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