so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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