dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
