I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
