apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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