watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
