sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
