Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
