I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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