Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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