I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
