Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
