clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it's like iHOP with fire
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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