i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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