Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
