So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
