My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
