i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
