I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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