they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think I sprained my soul last night
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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