Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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