it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
