I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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