amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
