she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
