doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
