perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
