She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
