I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she peed on how many people?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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