Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
