Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
