you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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