uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i barfeds in our rink
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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