my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
