Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
