Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
