They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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