YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
