I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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