I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
