Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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