I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
