Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
