The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
