yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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