Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I could make wine with my vomit
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
