yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
