Dual....:-)
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
