I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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